PHOTOSHOOT SESSION!!!

omg... the photoshotting session was so damn nice la... i start to like nyp abit more. LOL abit onli..


here are some photos that was taken during the session. the best group photo goes to...

TA DANG!!!

NICE RITE!! this one edited the level and the colour abit.
another nice group photo showing different style. me in a front split and the rest doing jumps. starting from left, amin doing hip-hop, jingwei doing street, zee doing contemp.

this was a nice shot man... but the white board is irritating..
so i crop it out and did some level and colour again.
again, 4 different style =D

haha. this one is before editing
btw, this was zelia's favorite photo. go ask her why. LOL
tonr le ve~~

grr~~ the picture snap before i can reach my highest ( it sounds wrong if i say climax).
battle?
showing what we got? = fats
i quite like this photo too. HAHA
GROUP PHOTO! starting from the left is me, germaine, huifang, jingwei, zelia, amin.





TATS ALL! NICE RITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gained weight.

OMG!!!! lets take a look at my weight graph.

before joining StageArts.

88kg

after lunchtime performance

78kg

after a few more weeks

76kg

but now

back to 80kg...

whats worst?!?

ONE MONTH BREAK FROM DANCE!!! AND CHINESE NEW YEAR IS AROUND THE CORNER!! OMG!! which means i need to be more decplined.. no more skipping of my daily crunches (which i've been skipping like shit this month.. main reason why im fat again.). and stop eating dinner 2 time in one night.. supper.. snacks.. sweets.. PRATA (sob, sob..)..

anyway, im still eating wages now. sinful!!

and i might be going eat prata later..

CUT DOWN WEIGHT LA NICK!! CLUB CRAW!!

today i spent quite alot of money. lol. shopping that is. it was fun shopping with amin. but quite paisay some time. cos the way he shop. LOL. shall not post bad things about him here.. anyway

THANX AMIN FOR THE BELATED BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!! LOVE IT!!

anyway.. i came across this person blog. with alot of intresting stories. shall share a few with your



_______________________________________________________

story of a blind boy

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet, he held up a sign which says:"I’m blind, please help. "There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by... he took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat.then he pick up the sign and turned it around, wrote some words and put it back at the boy's hand, letting passer-bys see the new set of words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. Alot more people were giving money to the blind boy.A few days later, the man who changed the sign came to see how things go.

The boy recognised that man's footsteps and asked:

“Were you the one who changed my sign that day? Thanks, but what exactly did you write on it?”

The man replied:

“I only wrote the truth. I wrote exactly what you wrote, but in a different way.”

What he had written was:

“Today is a beautiful day, but a pity that I cannot see it."

treasure what you have, don't take things for granted. you don't have to be born with a pair of healthy eyes, so be happy that you're born having the vision to see and read.always try to help those people who need it, because, not everyone is as fortunate as us. never look down on other people! (:

so long never post.

wee....... so long since i last updated. shall start with wed.

WOOHOO! went for prata date with rene and amin. but it was quite sad cos amin stick to his fish diet, so onli me and rene eat prata. i ordered 1 milky, 1 cheese and 1 BOMB prata. rene ordered 1 mushroom, 1 BOMB. haha. at first we thought of getting amin a fish mutabuk. but sad la, don have.

its quite suprising on how rene and amin can forget things in a min. they can talk about it for a min, then forget for 3min, then continue again. PROS i will say. lol. and still got rene's almighty power of changing subject

eat prata --> sinful --> gain weight --> fat --> weight --> weighing machine --> weighing machine in SAO --> sensitive weighing machine in SAO --> can weight how much she shit (cos before she shit she go weight, after she shit she go weight. she lighten by 30gram..) --> to saying shit --> link to BOMB prata (cos bomb bomb bomb) --> brown liquid substance (our curry).

well, it proves that what goes around comes around. start with prata end with curry, not bad huh??

rene insist in treating me prata.. so i insist in treating her fruit juice. she find wad i drank wierd.. wierd but nice.. kuukuu rite? its the nice honey pineapple with watermelon lo...

after eating we talk alot of crap and jokes and we laughed like shit. the most funny part is when i said a super lame joke. then there is complete slience.... then suddenly a bird fly pass us. like those type of cartoon like this. SUPER FUNNY LA! WE LAUGHED LIKE SHIT MAN!!!

after eating me and amin went blk E to practice dance again (for 5min lol) then rene went back to her office.

okay~~ yesterday~~~ OMG~~~ finally its over...

i was the dance captain understudies for yesterday session with linghui.. SORRY LINGHUI.. my bad... seriously i didnt notice till daph tell me that i was holding on the remote 100%...alamak.. and anyway..

aiya
post till here la. shoulder veri pain liao. pulled my nerve yesterday... sob....


last thing. I GOT A FREAKING NICE ADIDAS TRACK PANTS!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOT!

my blog moved!!!

haha. hi people. i moved my blog. i tried to privatised my blog but find it veri troublesome for your, and useless for me. cos people whom i don wan them to read my blog, still can read my blog. so, ask me for my url through sms or msn k? sorry to trouble your.

emotional day

i had a damn emotional day on thurs... i must thank all my team mate. thanx for giving me the support, and thanx for helping me that day.

thurs was a super stressed out day for me. start with a veri boring and dry lesson (DCN) where i don know what the teacher is talking about. and the lesson ended with the teacher telling me 'i don think you will make it through the pratical test'.

that was my first strike

then, i totally flunk my GD pratical test. i realli got a mind block and i donno what to desgin for the poster. end up my poster look like shit. and GD is Graphic Desgin.. it was supposed to be my strongest module...

that was my second strike

then i went for IAD. wasnt doing my webpage, cos i cannot show my teacher my webpage yet.. then for the test, dough its MCQ but i still donno how to do... was damn demoralized by my class.. and its also the time i blog my last post.. so...

that was my third strike

went for CCT after 3hours of IAD.. was a huge dissapointment.. as our idea was shoot by the teacher like shit. i felt that i let yana and neera down for coming out with suck ilogical idea.. and i was confident to shoot back any question af first, but my hands was shaking behind my back when i was presenting... and when i shoot back at the teacher, i was also scared to offend him as in the end, our marks depend of him. you wont wan to expect an A if you scold ur teacher 'fuck you la'.. so..

that was my forth strike.

then its time for DEP. it totally crack me down. the teacher gave us 3 week to work on that project (make a circit). so it starts on last week, and till next week la.. last week cos me and yana got open house, so we didnt go for the lesson. which means other teams already 1hour ahead of us. then when we reach there, everyone started doing. when we go get our stuff, there were ALOT of missing stuff. we went to find the teacher asking for help he say 'wait, i finish these stuff then i go get ur replacement'. so all we could do is just sit there and do nothing for 30min. until willson they all finish their project, then we go take their stuff then we start doing (the teacher still doing his stuff). but even when we get the stuff, i tried to do the circuit but i just got no idea. in the end phillip helped us through and i was realli greatful to him.

that was my fifth, and a heavy strike.

so after all those knife that was thrown to me, i went to dance with a bleeding heart. and guess i should not have went(tats what i tot at first. at first..) amin was the understudie for dancecaptain. and he leading was... FAST!!!!!!! cannot breath sia.. not realli warm then split liao. tats why i didnt aim for oversplit that day. then down to jingwei's workshop. it was realli a slap for me cos i realli donno how to pop. and i know its an important work shop cos danceworks cheoro got poping.. but i realli cannot catch. then moved on, zee's cheoro. it was a total slap for me. every one got the steps so fast but onli me, cannot catch it. i almost broke down in the studio but the security guard came to hear the 'okay!', so i didnt.. i got to hold it back.

on the way home i told shaherra how i felt.. cos, im realli scared about my studies and im realli scared to pull the team down. everyone in the team is so good, and so strong in hiphop. onli me... was holding back my tears while talking to shaherra.. until zee saw my teary eye and ask me wads wrong. tat moment on i realli cannot take it any more and i realli cried out when they ask me to let it out. i was realli just letting out tat time and i donno who is beside me.. i didnt even know who passed me the tissue.. i didnt noe wad shaherra told zee.. and i can onli hear 70% of wad zee said.. cos i was realli letting it out tat time..



thanx zee for encouraging me.. and thanx for letting me know i can depend on the team..

thanx shaherra, for listening me and telling me the right things to do.

thanx amin, for being so understanding...

thanx daphne for helping me all along..



thanx to all my teammates, and sorry for tat day. i will promise that i wont pull your down. i will practice to my very best with the time i have left for dance. i will work hard. i promise.





so thats for thurs..

on fri, since i didnt bring my adaptor for my lappie, i couldnt do my project in sch. so i went to meet amin fro dance practice. after the practice we planned the makeup, coustume, timing for the song, idea, concept, story hairstyle and most of the things. haha. i tought of leaving at 1630 or 1700, but i leave at 1800. lol. cos even i reach home i cannot do project since my sis need use...

then today.. drama was fun!! and i got a feeling production will be a blust this year. looking very forward to production.
i will work hard, i will study hard, i will dance hard, i will act hard. i promise

stress

open house is over. and now is for the next wave.

i have 5 project, 3assigment(just increase by 1), 2comment test, 3exams. and no time. feel so stress now. at home will be stress by my family. in class will be stressed by my friends. so what should i do?!

i know some of your are concerned for me, so please save the scarsum if u are realli caring for me. cos, it realli hurts me alot.

my head is so heavy, i have so many things on my mind.
my eyes are so heavy, i'm holding back my tears so hard.
my legs are so heavy, i realli don wish to walk any more, to any place, to any commitment.
my heart is so heavy, i have so many knife hanging there.

what is the right thing to do? what is the right way to do? i dont know a single thing. my mind telling me that i don care, i don care. but the thinng is, i need to care.. and this time i have a very strong feeling that i will retain this sem. its not that i didnt try to understand. but its just im not fit to be in this course! and the the worst thing is, the modules im most alien to is the core modules. so wad if i get A or B for a module with onli 2 or 3 point.. where the highers i can get for a module with 5point is a D. ya you can say 'change course la! go to a course you like.' will a desgin course accept me? will a desgin course giv me time for my commitment? will my life at home be better or worst if i join a desgin course? i don noe. if i quit school, i won be able to dance, nor act. i will be shooting bird in the jungle for 3years.

im so stressed up. my good friends beside me, who are trying to help me, i feel that i owe them alot. i just kept pissing them off. i can say sorry again and again, but will it help? i don noe.



i keep telling myself.


that building look nice.

but if i have the courage to jump, i should have the courage to go through all these.. so i wont jump. but where do i find the courage? where do i find the answer? where do i find the solutions??


im typing this post in the middle of the class. a 3 hour session which is suppose to be a test. but theacher went to take things. for like 30min. and im at the back.. looking at each friend.. who are worthy to be in this class.. but myself? i don know

THANX YANA!!

WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! THANX YANA FOR THE SONG!!! WOOT! THREE CHEERS FOR YANA!!


HIPHIP HURRAY!! X3

nipple song.

open house

2 week of perparation.

3 days of performance.

put up 4 dance.

performed in 5 slots.

20 dancers.

from 1 club

Danzinc

its finally over. the stressful period. and i realli realli did the best i could for openhouse. its been the best performance for me so far in danzinc. lol. the first time i dance so many item in one performance. i danced 3 out of 4 (tat time NEA i also danced 3 la). this time round i dance,





-throb (jazz cheoro)


-sexy back (street jazz cheoro)


-because of you (ooooo... lol. no la. street jazz)





however, dancing alot of items is not the reason why its been the best performance so far. reason being. i pulled through performing for 3 days straight. i pulled through with the quick change. i pulled through with the stress. i pulled through with the steps. i managed to find the coustume. i managed to find the sneakers (which im going to return in 5mins time to julian. I DON WAN RETURN! i wan own a jazz sneaker...). pulled through the mental stress, physical stress and all the stress. all the airing of clothes. all the punctuality(which i realli suck at). but i do believe that i pulled through the whole of open house.



dancing wise i believe i can do alot more better but i had gave my 100-120% to all my performance. what does it means? chruches and training!! make sure club craw wont screw up the same way. on avreage i slip 2.6times per performance. my leg couldnt be straight when i lift it up for because of you (the most disgusting thing). forgot to button my pants for sexyback, lucky got belt. the first time i attempted a turn to a split, i slip slightly and split wrongly. saw the video. i look like shit.



looking forward to clubcraw :D



ANYWAY!! I WAN SUGGEST!! (since i cannot go for B&J outing..) NEXT DANZINC OUTING WE GO EAT PRATA AND HAVE A GOOOOOOOOOOOD PRATAMANIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i will try.

it really hurts me alot to see you suffering so much. i know what you want me to do to lighten your pain. i know how much you want to see me, but i got my commitments. is not that i don love you. but i do love my passion. but to see you in so much pain, i finally broke down again, the second time this week.

im sorry being such a lousy son. but i love to dance. i love to act. i love to perform. i love art.

im sorry mum

tired

grr... im so freaking tired. sick of my life. wtf do u mean. 'please save up $100 to contribute to my new com.' why noe u contribute to my new com???!?? fucking screwed my whole day up-down-left-right-upsidedown.

overslept 2days straight. damaged my handphone 2 days straight.. gosh. im just sooo tired to do anything now.later need go far east.. then go dance practice.. hope my body can handle till sat. mon, tues, wed dance thurs, fri, sat perform... sunday got majiong date with dragon they all.. realli feel like pushing it away but, i will get killed. see first la. all the projects, all the things i missed out, all the preasure from my class mate. hope it will slim me down

I NEED PRATA!!! RENE!!!! WHEN ARE U FREE LA!!!

PHOTOMANIA

since im in school, in GD, nth better to do, its time to spam some photos for my viewer!! (after so long rite!

DULCrene. LOL
rene. LOL X2
DanzInc camp. the 3 guys
THE ONE!!!
me with the flag *we takan card for tieing it up lo.*

the split i have now
*the split i have last time. leg not straight, hip not square*
wee.. so happy.. after so long finally i can use 2 hand now. boo to last time.*this one is last time*

my first outside dance audition. jitterbug. I GOT THROUGH! but didnt continue it.

*juice party at zee's house* the nicS!

nicS with juice

0.0?

i went for vocal training for 45min okay

this was like from youth culture time la. LOL

tats the end.

I WAN EAT PRATA NOW!!! RAWZ!@!@!@!@!@!

im sorry.

its 1+ in the morning and i still cant sleep. doing project is one thing, but i realli cant sleep. something happened today, and i felt very bad to it.


im sorry, my ego is too big.

im sorry, i crossed my line.

im sorry, im in a bad mood.

im sorry, for not giving in my all.

im sorry, for being too self centered

im sorry, if im not good enough.


its not that i don know that im in the wrong, but just that im too stupid. im stupid enough to make mistake when i know it was wrong. i just cant help it. thats why i hate myself. i don wan you to hate me. i don wan your to hate me. but my stupidity is just getting ahead of me.

~~~

sometime i ask myself the meaning of life? why am i doing things im doing.. why am i so stupid to let myself into a bad situation, that i've been through. why don i learn from my mistake..


my good friend tells me "there are some time where you should just say NO."

i agree to him. but am i doing it? no.


come to think about it. my life is screwed. i can go to school, go for class, and end up when having a conversation with my classmate at a birthday party, he can ask me a question like "how's school?". to me, i find it quite alarming. did i disappeared from class for that long? am i that drifted from them?


im tired. but im holding there. cos i believe thats what i want to do, what i hope to do, what i wished to do and what i NEED to do. but today, thoughts came into my mind. is this what you can achieve? is this what you need to do? is this what u CAN do?


suddenly, i felt like dancing out 'storm'. and i tried. but i failed. at the last part i just stood there. i held back my tears as yana and kaye was beside me.


what hurts the most? issit the tears thats coming down from your eyes, or blood dripping down from the wound of your heart.


im totally shattered, and i dont know what to do. and once again, i hate myself.